I Didnt Know Dumbs Were From Funny Jokes
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Bad jokes that are actually pretty proficient
Ah, bad jokes. They're little guilty pleasures we indulge in with giddy enthusiasm every take a chance we get. They make united states of america groan, say "Are yous serious?", and, of course, brand us chuckle. Bad jokes can be short, corny, punny, and deliver some of the best one-liners ever. What's not to love?
If you're a sucker for a good bad joke, you're in luck. Below, you'll find a list of our funniest jokes that just then happen to pack groan-worthy punchlines. Enjoy!
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c–
MOO!
We had to showtime off this collection of bad jokes with one of the oldest knock-knock jokes in the book.
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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Dam.
Sometimes the all-time bad jokes are the shortest. Bank check out these short jokes for kids anyone tin can memorize.
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What do y'all get when you combine a rhetorical question and a joke?
…
Get it? Bad jokes don't even need a punch line to be funny! Check out the funniest jokes on the cyberspace.
9 / 177
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-manner. These hilarious creature cartoons prove that animals are funnier than humans.
ten / 177
Two muffins were sitting in an oven.
One turned to the other and said, "Wow, information technology's pretty hot in hither." The other one shouted, "Wow, a talking muffin!" For more laughs, check out these travel cartoons that notice the funny in everything.
xi / 177
I sold my vacuum the other twenty-four hour period.
All it was doing was collecting dust. If this one has you smirking, these dad jokes will really give yous a chuckle.
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What is Forrest Gump's electronic mail countersign?
1forrest1.
xiii / 177
Did yous hear most the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
He won the "no-bell" prize.
14 / 177
Did you lot hear about the fire in the shoe manufactory?
10,000 soles were lost. The police said some heels started information technology.
15 / 177
What'southward the difference between a rabbit and a plum?
They're both royal except for the rabbit. This joke made be bad, simply these other "what's the difference between" jokes are hilarious!
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Two windmills are standing on a wind subcontract.
One asks, "What'due south your favorite type of music?" The other says, "I'one thousand a large metallic fan." Here are some funny one-liners that are sure to get some laughs.
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I like elephants.
Everything else is irrelephant. Read more elephant jokes that are a ton of laughs!
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What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
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Two guys walk into a bar.
The third guy ducks.
20 / 177
What do you call a imitation noodle?
An impasta. If you thought this was funny, you'll beloved these other hilarious what do you lot call jokes.
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Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He simply needed some space.
23 / 177
What do you lot call an alligator in a belong?
An in-vest-igator.
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What kind of tea is difficult to eat?
Reality. Thought that was skilful? You lot'll love these tea puns!
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A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The human being begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
"Hey, you can't leave that lyin' there!" The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: "It's non a king of beasts. It'southward a giraffe."
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The wedding was so beautiful.
Fifty-fifty the cake was in tiers.
28 / 177
Why don't dinosaurs talk?
Considering they're dead. Don't forget to cheque out these dinosaur jokes for more laughs!
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A dyslexic human walks into a bra.
Get it?
30 / 177
What do yous call a wing with no wings?
A walk.
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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.
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What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
"Supplies!"
34 / 177
It's inappropriate to make a "dad joke" if you are non a dad.
It's a simulated pa.
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What did the buffalo say when his son left?
Bison!
37 / 177
My new thesaurus is terrible.
Not but that, but it'south also terrible.
38 / 177
What exercise you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?
Bob.
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What do yous call a psychic fiddling person who has escaped from prison?
A modest medium at large.
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What's the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
"Oops!" If biology is more your thing, check out these biology jokes that really cell themselves.
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Iii fish are in a tank.
One asks the others, "How do you bulldoze this thing?"
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What's the dumbest creature in the jungle?
A polar deport.
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What do you call a man who tin't stand?
Neil.
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I used to be fond to the hokey pokey…
… merely and so I turned myself around.
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I don't trust stairs.
They're e'er up to something.
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Wife: "How do I look?"
Husband: "With your eyes."
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What's the best part about living in Switzerland?
I don't know, simply the flag is a big plus.
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Take y'all heard the rumor nigh butter?
Never mind, I shouldn't exist spreading it.
52 / 177
I submitted 10 puns to a joke-writing competition to run across if whatsoever of them made the finals.
Sadly, no pun in ten did.
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RIP, boiled water.
You will be mist .
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What exercise you call a Frenchman in sandals?
Phillipe Floppe .
55 / 177
eBay is so useless.
I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.
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Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke?
Joke, joke, jooooooooooooooke . We tin can all relate to these funny working from home cartoons right at present.
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I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.
I call it my trail mix.
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What do you practise if you lot see a fireman?
Put it out, man!
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That'southward a pretty good ceiling.
It's not the all-time, but it'south up there!
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I wrote a song nigh a tortilla.
Actually, information technology's more of a wrap.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It'southward ok, he woke up.
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What'due south the difference between a hippo and a Aught?
One is really heavy, and the other is a picayune lighter.
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Why exercise you never encounter pigs hiding in trees?
Because they're pretty expert at information technology.
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Y'all want to go down to the bar to hear that band called Duvet?
They're a cover band.
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What exercise you call a crocodile that is also a detective?
An investi -gator.
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The simply thing flat earthers have to fear. ..
…is sphere itself.
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Name one fragrance commercial that has e'er made sense.
What are you talking virtually, they all make scents!
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Where did Noah keep his bees?
In the Ark Hives.
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What genre are national anthems?
Country.
73 / 177
I detest Russian dolls.
They're so full of themselves.
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A man walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. The clerk carefully counts thirteen bees out onto the counter.
"That's 1 too many!" says the client. The clerk replies "It's a freebie."
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I can cutting a piece of wood in one-half just past looking at it.
You might non believe me, but I saw information technology with my own optics.
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Did y'all prefer your dog?
No, he's my biological dog. Bank check out these other canis familiaris jokes that are pawsitively hilarious.
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I bought the newlyweds an elephant for their room.
They said, "Cheers." I said, "Don't mention it."
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A limbo champ walks into a bar.
He loses.
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When the moon hits your knees, and you mispronounce trees
Sycamore
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How do you lot make holy h2o?
Yous boil the hell out of it.
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What did the frustrated true cat say?
Are you kitten me right meow? Cat hiss ridiculous.
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When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.
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The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Apartment World Society.
They fright that social distancing measures could push people over the border. I bet they are excited about flattening the curve, though.
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I got fired from my chore at the bank today.
An old lady asked me to check her rest, and then I pushed her over.
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My wife just completed a 40 -week torso building program this morning.
It's a girl and weighs 7 pounds, 12 ounces. Not to throw more numbers at y'all, simply nosotros have 50 jokes here for all l states.
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Why are there so many different kinds of pasta?
If I had a penne for every time I asked myself this question.
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What did The Rock say when the waiter offered him a box for his leftovers?
I'm non much of a boxer, merely I'll wrestle you for it.
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Where do you have someone who's been injured in a peek – a-boo accident?
To the I.C.U.
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Nurse: Blood blazon?
Dad: Cherry. By the style, yous'll dearest these nurse jokes that are RN-believably funny.
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A person is walking down the street and hears a bunch of people in a fenced-in g shouting, "19 ! 19! nineteen! 19!" Curious, he walks over and looks through a hole in the fence.
S omeone from the other side pokes him in the heart and they all start shouting, "20! 20! 20!" Here are the best jokes from A-Z!
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I went to a wedding ceremony where two satellite dishes got married.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was astonishing.
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What exercise you phone call a magician who lost their magic?
Ian.
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Why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
They e'er take things literally.
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What practise you call a blind dinosaur?
A do-you lot-think-he-saurus.
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I had a chip implanted in my body.
It was a Cool Ranch Dorito. Yum!
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Why is Peter Pan always flying?
He neverlands . We beloved this joke considering it never grows quondam.
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To kill a French vampire, y'all need to drive a baguette through its heart.
Sounds piece of cake simply the process is painstaking.
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What do we want? Low-flight aeroplane noises! When do we desire them?
NNNNNEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!
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A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Wow, I've never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?"
"Pop," goes the weasel.
102 / 177
Today I gave my dead batteries away.
They were free of charge.
103 / 177
Why do ghosts love elevators?
Information technology lifts their spirits.
104 / 177
V guys walk into a bar.
Yous think one of them would've seen it.
105 / 177
Who are caterpillars' biggest enemies?
Dogerpillars.
107 / 177
Why do you tell actors to suspension a leg?
Every play has a bandage.
108 / 177
What do you lot call an empty can of Cheese Whiz?
Cheese Was.
109 / 177
Someone stole my mood ring.
I don't know how I experience about that.
110 / 177
What kind of dogs love car racing?
Lap dogs.
112 / 177
My favorite word is "drool."
It just rolls off the tongue.
113 / 177
I simply wrote a volume on reverse psychology.
Exercise non read it.
114 / 177
What practise y'all telephone call birds who stick together?
Vel-crows.
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I was sitting in traffic the other twenty-four hour period.
Probably why I got run over.
117 / 177
Where practice spaghetti and sauce become to dance?
The meatball.
118 / 177
What do yous get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk. If you thought this was funny, you'll love our other cow jokes!
119 / 177
This library has two stories.
Can inappreciably call it a library.
120 / 177
I like to spend every day as if it's my last.
Staying in bed and calling for a nurse to bring me more pudding.
122 / 177
How does your feline shop?
By reading a itemize.
123 / 177
What do you lot call a factory that sells passable products?
Satisfactory.
124 / 177
What practise you phone call a dangerous sun shower?
A rain of terror.
125 / 177
What do you lot call a subcontract that makes bad jokes?
Corny.
126 / 177
What'southward the concluding affair that goes through a bug's mind when it hits a windshield?
Its barrel. Oop! Attempt these political jokes on for size at your side by side family holiday—they're guaranteed to get yous a laugh.
127 / 177
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad.
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I went on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation.
Never again.
129 / 177
Parallel lines accept so much in common.
It's a shame they'll never meet.
130 / 177
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
"Robin, become in the car."
133 / 177
I took the trounce off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.
If annihilation, it made him more than sluggish.
134 / 177
My friend gave me his Epi–Pen as he was dying.
It seemed very important to him that I have it. Read these best friend tweets for more laughs.
135 / 177
Have you heard of Irish potato's Law? Ok, merely accept you heard of Cole's Law?
It's thinly-sliced cabbage.
137 / 177
Did you know Jesus drove a Honda but just didn't talk nigh it?
John 12:49: "For I did not speak of my own accord."
138 / 177
How do y'all talk to Italian ghosts?
With a Luigi board.
139 / 177
Time flies similar an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana. Don't forget to bookmark these fruit puns that are berry funny!
140 / 177
Two cows are grazing in a field. One says to the other, "You lot ever worry about that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter."
141 / 177
What's East.T. short for?
He's only got little legs. Scientific discipline lovers will science-love these physics jokes!
142 / 177
Two men meet on opposites sides of a river. One shouts to the other "I need you to help me to go to the other side!"
The other guy shouts, "You are on the other side!"
143 / 177
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
144 / 177
What came kickoff, the chicken or the egg?
Condom. Safety always comes kickoff. In the example of these hilarious egg puns, the egg e'er comes first.
145 / 177
This is your helm speaking.
AND THIS IS YOUR Captain SHOUTING.
147 / 177
Coroner died.
Still went to piece of work. If you thought that was funny, yous'll dearest these work from home jokes.
148 / 177
Which stone group has 4 guys who can't sing or play instruments?
Mount Rushmore.
149 / 177
I bought a dog from a locksmith.
The second I got him in the business firm he fabricated a commodities for the door.
150 / 177
What's the difference betwixt ignorance and aloofness?
I don't know and I don't care.
152 / 177
My girlfriend broke upward with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
Simply in the end, it doesn't even matter.
153 / 177
What do you telephone call bears with no ears?
B.
154 / 177
What'south a foot long and slippery?
A slipper.
155 / 177
What did the swordfish say to the marlin?
Yous're lookin' sharp.
156 / 177
What kind of ghost has the best hearing?
The eeriest. If you laugh at these dark jokes, you lot're probably a genius.
157 / 177
Where tin can you lot buy soup in bulk?
The stock market.
158 / 177
How do you end a bull from charging?
Cancel its credit card.
159 / 177
What was the frog'due south job at the hotel?
Bellhop.
160 / 177
Why are the Irish then wealthy?
Their capital is Dublin.
162 / 177
What kind of shoes do robbers habiliment?
Sneakers.
163 / 177
Why did the invisible man pass up the job offer?
He couldn't see himself doing it.
164 / 177
Why are frogs then happy?
They eat whatsoever bugs them.
165 / 177
What exercise you call assistant skin shoes?
Slippers.
166 / 177
Did you hear nearly the cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing left but de Brie. Cheese is archetype joke provender. Here are 17 classic light bulb jokes that'll make you audio smart.
167 / 177
Why were they called the Nighttime Ages?
At that place were lots of knights. If you accept more of a twisted sense of humor, these night jokes are for you.
168 / 177
My dominate only texted me,
"Send me one of your funny jokes!"
169 / 177
Desire to hear a roof joke?
This i's on the firm.
170 / 177
What kind of pants does Mario wear?
Denim, denim, denim.
171 / 177
Where does the general go along his armies?
In his sleevies. This joke is very cuties. Here are 9 secrets to telling a great joke, according to comedians.
172 / 177
How does the squid go into battle?
Well-armed.
173 / 177
I broke my finger final calendar week.
On the other hand, I'thou ok.
174 / 177
Do you use your correct hand to stir your coffee?
I use a spoon. Check out these relatable tweets for more laughs.
175 / 177
You're not completely useless.
You lot can ever serve as a bad example. By the fashion, nosotros're serving up these ice cream puns just for you lot—check them out!
176 / 177
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Same middle proper name. Here are 15 unproblematic (and lightheaded) April Fool'southward jokes to play on your kids.
177 / 177
What exercise you lot call someone with no torso and no olfactory organ?
Nobody knows.
Sources:
- Buzzfeed, "21 Clean Jokes That Are So Dumb They're Actually Funny"
- Buzzfeed, "21 Dad Jokes So Ridiculous, I'm Almost Mad At Myself For Laughing"
- Buzzfeed, "18 Punny Jokes That Accept No Right To Exist Every bit Hilarious As They Are"
- Buzzfeed, "100 Dad Jokes Y'all're Going To Detest Laughing At So Hard"
- Buzzfeed, "If You're Tired Of The Same Old Dad Jokes, Here Are 19 Very Funny New Ones"
- Buzzfeed, "23 Dad Jokes That Are Then Bad They're Skillful"
- Buzzfeed, "Sorry, But There'south No Style Y'all Won't At To the lowest degree Smile At Whatever Of These Dad Jokes"
- Buzzfeed, "25 Jokes And Puns From National Tell A Joke Day That Might Make You lot Ringlet Your Optics"
- Buzzfeed, "xiii Admittedly Hilarious Jokes Told In Movies"
- Buzzfeed, "Every Weird And Awkward Person Will Find These 17 Tweets Hilarious For No Particular Reason"
- Buzzfeed, "Reddit Is Sharing Their Best Jokes, Here Are 17 Really Funny Ones"
- Buzzfeed, "17 Dad Jokes That Fabricated Me Groan, Roll My Eyes, And Then Repeat To My Friends"
- Buzzfeed, "xviii Jokes That Will Make You Express mirth Even If You're Having A Bad 24-hour interval"
- Buzzfeed, "27 Clean Jokes To Tell Your Kids That Are Actually Funny"
- Buzzfeed, "nineteen Twitter Jokes That Are Just Very, Very Funny"
- Buzzfeed, "We All Love Dad Jokes — But How Many Of The Punchlines Do You Really Know?"
- Best Life, "150 Jokes That Are So Bad They're Really Funny"
- Bored Panda, "52 Of The Funniest Two-Line Jokes Ever"
- Reddit, "What'south a short, clean joke that gets a laugh every time?"
- Best Life, "40 Hilarious Jokes No One Is As well Sometime to Laugh At"
- Parade, "Ha Ha Ha—101 Corny Jokes That Are And then Bad They're Really Funny Good"
- Fatherly, "55 Great Clean Jokes for Funny People Who Don't Swear"
Originally Published: January 19, 2022
Source: https://www.rd.com/list/bad-jokes-cant-help-laugh-at/
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